yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
