her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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