hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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