Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
