I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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