I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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