all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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