She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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