K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
