Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
