Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
