I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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