CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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