Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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