She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?