Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
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seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
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Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.