if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.