Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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