careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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