It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
