week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
