Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
