She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
