she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
