If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I had to cum in my sink.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
