I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
