They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
