yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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