One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize