And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
