you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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