at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
