Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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