Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
