you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
