I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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