turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
