just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
