I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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