pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
he fucked my hip out of place.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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