evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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