weddingsv make me drug and hornr
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
