I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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