just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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