According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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