If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
