Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I hate all girls vehemently.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
