I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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