She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
