Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
