But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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