Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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