I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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