its not stalking. its research.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize