what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
