omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize