Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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