Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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