im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
