it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
