I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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