should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
