do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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