jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
