Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You don't make any sense
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