I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I would fuck him just for his dog
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize